Wende Sanders, MS, CC

Time Tested Beauty Tips Poem

True Beauty

For attractive lips,

Speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes,

Seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure,

Share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair,

Let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise,

Walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored,

renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed;

Never throw out anybody.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,

you’ll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands;

one for helping yourself,

the other for helping others.

-          Sam Levenson

Leave a Comment February 17, 2010

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Love Yourself!

One of the primary concerns on the mind of today’s working woman is “How can I get it all done?”  Whether or not that should even be the goal is worthy of its own conversation.  But for most of us, in our desire to be it all, do it all & have it all, we are disregarding a very important element.  That’s right, the matter of real love.

Whether you love your family is certainly not the question.  Of course you do!  But, do they always feel it?  There is a definite difference between knowing that you’re loved and feeling that you’re loved.  This difference is what drains the passion out of marriages and transforms them into business arrangements.  This difference is one of the reasons kids and parents become so distant.  This difference is one reason you neglect your own physical and mental health when you know better.  Frequently, the missing ingredient is a real feeling of love.  In the midst of our busy schedules sometimes we forget to put “relate to my husband in HIS love language” on our to-do lists.  Or, to schedule time to discover how our children prefer to be loved, and then do it.

So the question is what’s love got to do with it?  The answer, everything.  When you don’t love your job, your body, your hair, your home, your life or yourself, it shows up in other areas of your life and in your relationships.  As much as you may believe you’re doing a great job of hiding it, please know that it will usually catch up with you.  I don’t want to scare you, but I do want to wake you up.

So, what’s the solution?  There are many possible approaches to this dilemma of not enough love being demonstrated or received.  I really like the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  In it, you’ll discover which of the following is the primary language of your loved ones and yourself.

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

Once you understand their language as well as your own, you can be much more effective in developing and demonstrating the depth & breadth of your love.

Challenge-I challenge you to discover your primary love language and then gift yourself with an outward expression of love using it.  For example, if it’s physical touch schedule yourself a massage. If it’s acts of service, hire a maid or get your car detailed.  If it’s receiving gifts, send yourself flowers with a simple note that says “I Love You!”  These may seem silly to you at first, but when you experience how great if feels, you’ll be more likely to happily relate to your children, husband, family and friends in their own languages.

2 Comments February 12, 2010

Celebrity Spotlight: Lessons Learned from First Lady Michelle Obama

First Lady Michelle Obama

I believe that success leaves clues.  With that in mind, I study as many people as possible that have attained the type of “whole life’” success to which I aspire.  That’s why I’m including the Celebrity Spotlight Feature in Phenomenal Life and Career Newsletter.  It’s my extreme honor to feature our country’s First Lady as the first celebrity to be profiled.

Over the last several years I’ve had the pleasure of learning about the Phenomenal Woman that is First Lady Michelle Obama.  During that time, I’ve adopted her as one of my mentors and role models.  I aspire to be as gracious, stylish and confident as she appears to be.

In my opinion, Mrs. Obama is living proof that yes we can have it all, love, family, career, happiness and fulfillment if we are willing to work at it.  Here are just 3 of the secrets to success I’ve learned from her:

1.  Choose your priorities and let them shape your life.

“And in my own life, in my own small way, I’ve tried to give back to this country that has given me so much. That’s why I left a job at a law firm for a career in public service, working to empower young people to volunteer in their communities. Because I believe that each of us–no matter what our age or background or walk of life–each of us has something to contribute to the life of this nation.”

2.  Being classy and intelligent are always fashionable and never go out of style.

“One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals. And so when I hear about negative and false attacks, I really don’t invest any energy in them, because I know who I am.”

3.  Self-care is not selfish, it’s smart; because, it refuels you so you can continue to give to others.

“I have freed myself to put me on the priority list and say, yes, I can make choices that make me happy, and it will ripple and benefit my kids, my husband, and my physical health. That’s hard for women to own; we’re not taught to do that. It’s a lesson that I want to teach my girls so they don’t wait for their “aha” moment until they’re in their 30s like I was (laughs). Maybe they can experience it a little earlier.”

My challenge to you is to take an assessment of your own life and career choices.  Do they truly reflect who you are and your current priorities?  Or are they more like some random mix of outcomes created by default?  Let’s take a cue from Mrs. Obama, and be more intentional about how we design our lives.  Many women spend more time designing their outfits than they do on designing their lives.  Please don’t be one of them.

Leave a Comment February 1, 2010